Broken Dreams
by SilverflowerXRavenpaw
Summary: A cat who hoped to become leader is injured and forced to become medicine cat instead. How do they respond? Challenge!


**Lightningstreak**

l lay there in disgust, lazily counting my herbs. I had plenty of marigold, but hardly any tansy. I was also almost out of deathberries, which I was going to have to fix.

I walked out of my den, ready to go out searching, when I saw the other cats looking at me with pity. I knew what they were thinking, "Poor old Lightningstreak, lost her chance at leadership." But I didn't care. I still had plenty of opportunities. Medicine cats had a place of high power just as much as leaders did.

I licked my side worriedly. I couldn't have it ripping open, then I might die. I looked at my one stub of a paw in anger. The stupid thing not only took my leadership from me, it slowed me down at everything.

I remembered the fateful night, my rage at my fate growing. There had been a ferocious battle; WindClan attacked us. We fought bravely, but I saw that we were losing. Firestar had been pinned down and I raced to save him; he was on his last life. The WindClan cat had turned to me instantly, apparently wanting an easier catch.

The warrior had pinned me down easily, I didn't know why. He scratched my belly relentlessly and, hopping away, yowled not to attack him again. His parting blow had taken my paw. I had even seen a warrior watching me, grinning at my terror.

I stopped daydreaming to begin putting my plan into action. "Hey Nightpaw, come help me gather some berries!"

I liked Nightpaw. He was a cat of few words, so he did everything I asked without question. He even stopped treating me so kitlike when I told him that it annoyed me; an act of kindness very few in my Clan had done.

We walked for most of the day, searching for berries and plants. When I picked some deathberries the apprentice eyed me warily, but after a bit he nodded casually and seemed to accept my decision. Maybe I'd let him live.

When we got back to camp I went straight to work on reorganizing my herbs and making sure everything was where it best fit. In reality I was hardly paying attention to what I was doing, but I wanted to make myself not seem suspicious.

As I was almost done the deputy walked in. "Hey Lightningstreak, do you have any marigold?"

"Yes. Why do you ask? Do you even know what it's used for?" I didn't like him. He was a little punk, and I was supposed to be deputy. It was hardly his fault that he was chosen, but I hated him all the same. So smug and proud of his new deputy position, I hoped he would soon die.

"No, but Petalstorm requested some. Anyways, does it matter? You have plenty, don't think I don't see you carrying out the bundle."

I dropped my marigold at his feet angrily. He didn't even know why he wanted the marigold I had worked so long to get. What was I thinking? I hardly worked at all to get this. The last medicine cat had left them for me.

I stared at him as he stalked off. He seemed so _happy_ to take my herbs. I couldn't take it! He _should_ die, as soon as possible. Of course, I was going to speed that up just a little bit.

I looked at the fresh-kill pile longingly. Why did it have to be leaf-bare? There was a guard on the food, like there almost always was. There were _rationing_ the prey! They had never done this before, even in the harshest leaf-bare. It was almost like they expected me.

I spent my day bored, looking at cut paws and taking care of some idiot who had walked into a patch of ivy. I even got lonely enough to check out the elders, making sure they didn't have sore muscles or ticks. Maybe I would let them live, too. They hadn't hurt me, they had tried to convince Firestar to make me deputy regardless of my injuries.

And he should have. Deadfoot was a perfectly good deputy and he had a dead foot. Mine was missing, but that was hardly worse. And besides, now my wrath was on the Clan's heads.

I waited until nightfall when the guard had gone to sleep. If anyone left their den the other cats would snitch, but I was by myself in the medicine den. Of course, that made me a suspect but by the time I was done there would be almost no one to suspect me.

I stalked to the fresh-kill pile, a bundle in my mouth. I sat down, pushing berries into the prey's mouths, having to force myself not to purr at the ingenuity of my plan. Then I went hunting for enough prey that the elders and Nightpaw wouldn't eat any of the deathberry-poisoned prey and waited for my time to come.

I lay in my den restlessly for the majority of the night, and worried for a moment that I was guilty. When I was guilty about something I couldn't keep myself from admitting it, and if I admitted to this I would be killed.

Suddenly, I realized a fault in my plan. If I was in camp I could be suspected, but if I was gone I should be safe. I would have to find some random errand to run while the camp was waking up. Maybe I could gather some herbs...

I ate a bunch of my marigold, hoping that the deputy wouldn't remember the abundance I had earlier. If I had little enough herbs now, I could have a reasonable excuse to leave the camp. Of course, if the day went as planned it wouldn't be necessary, but all the same, an alibi was nice.

When the sun rose, Rockstar went straight to the fresh-kill pile. To my complete delight, he called a _feast_ because of the abundance of prey. The entire clan-except me and Nightpaw, because we were out gathering more herbs, and the elders because they were sleeping-dug into the prey. I came back just in time to see my Clan convulsing and some of them dying. I walked up to Firestar, seeing the light fading from his eyes. "I told you Firestar! You should have made me deputy. StarClan disapproved of your choice, I told you time and time again. Maybe your Clan would still be alive if you had chosen me instead of going against StarClan's will."

"Lightningstreak, please, you're a medicine cat. You must be able to save the Clan. Take care of the kits and queens first, and then work up. Do your best, please."

"Firestar, it's too late. No matter what I do, I won't be able to save them. They're already convulsing, and some of them _are_ dead." He looked at me suspiciously, but he was too weak to do anything about it. He twitched and, his tail sagging, died.


End file.
